Bones: Tell me you tried "excuse me" first.
Angela: Ah, Sweetie. Yes, I did. Welcome home. Are you exhausted? Was Guatemala awful? Was it horribly backward?
Bones: And yet, I was never reduced to flashing my boobs for information.
Booth: Bones identifies bodies for us.
Bones: Don't call me Bones and I do more than identify.
Bones: That’s the best you can do?
Booth: What?
Bones: Getting Homeland Security to snatch me so you can stage a fake rescue.
Booth: Well at least I picked you up at the airport, huh?
Booth: A decomposed corpse was found this morning at Arlington National Cemetery...
Bones: Arlington National Cemetery is full of decomposed corpses. It's a cemetery.
Booth: Temperance, partners share things. Builds trust.
Bones: Since when are we partners?
Booth: I apologize for the assumption.
Bones: I hate psychology. It's a soft science.
Angela: I know, but people are mostly soft.
Bones: Except for their bones.
Bones: What if Booth is right? What if I'm only good with bones and lousy with people?
Angela: People like you.
Bones: I don't care if men like me.
Angela: Okay, interesting jump from 'people' to 'men,' but I'm sure it means nothing.
Bones: I hate psychology.
Bones: My most meaningful relationships are with dead people.
Bones: And yet, I was never reduced to flashing my boobs for information.
Booth: Bones identifies bodies for us.
Bones: Don't call me Bones and I do more than identify.
Bones: That’s the best you can do?
Booth: What?
Bones: Getting Homeland Security to snatch me so you can stage a fake rescue.
Booth: Well at least I picked you up at the airport, huh?
Booth: A decomposed corpse was found this morning at Arlington National Cemetery...
Bones: Arlington National Cemetery is full of decomposed corpses. It's a cemetery.
Booth: Temperance, partners share things. Builds trust.
Bones: Since when are we partners?
Booth: I apologize for the assumption.
Bones: I hate psychology. It's a soft science.
Angela: I know, but people are mostly soft.
Bones: Except for their bones.
Bones: What if Booth is right? What if I'm only good with bones and lousy with people?
Angela: People like you.
Bones: I don't care if men like me.
Angela: Okay, interesting jump from 'people' to 'men,' but I'm sure it means nothing.
Bones: I hate psychology.
Bones: My most meaningful relationships are with dead people.
Hodgins: The Senator, ah, he is smart. He gets an intern pregnant, then murders her when it threatens his career. And he has the connections to get away with it.
Bones: I hate it when you make paranoia plausible. It's like sliding off a cliff.
Hodgins: In a nutshell, anxious, depressed and nauseous.
Bones: Take a sick day.
Bones: I hate it when you make paranoia plausible. It's like sliding off a cliff.
Hodgins: In a nutshell, anxious, depressed and nauseous.
Bones: Take a sick day.
Season 2
Booth: What did you do?
Bones: I read, walked on the beach, chilled...
Booth: You chilled? In Darfur? You chilled in Darfur?
Bones: What's with the siren? And why are you driving like a maniac?
Cam: Why are you still here, Dr. Brennan?
Bones: Because I'm not a coroner, and I don't work for you?
Cam: You got that half right.
Bones: One minute she's holding a severed arm, the next, she's hitting on you.
Booth: No, she wasn't hitting on me.
Bones: Do you see a skull?
Booth: Hey Bones, I'm not looking for a skull.
Booth: Oh, homicide! That makes it my case.
Cam: One of them's a senator.
Bones: That makes a difference?
Booth: Facts of life, Bones.
Bones: I read, walked on the beach, chilled...
Booth: You chilled? In Darfur? You chilled in Darfur?
Bones: What's with the siren? And why are you driving like a maniac?
Cam: Why are you still here, Dr. Brennan?
Bones: Because I'm not a coroner, and I don't work for you?
Cam: You got that half right.
Bones: One minute she's holding a severed arm, the next, she's hitting on you.
Booth: No, she wasn't hitting on me.
Bones: Do you see a skull?
Booth: Hey Bones, I'm not looking for a skull.
Booth: Oh, homicide! That makes it my case.
Cam: One of them's a senator.
Bones: That makes a difference?
Booth: Facts of life, Bones.
Russ: He said, "you and your sister are in danger," and he hung up.
Bones: I spend half my time with a sniper-trained FBI Agent. I feel safe.
Bones: It's a long drive. You can start fresh tomorrow and I've got (she holds out her keys) cold beer in the fridge.
Booth: (enters) No, don't drink the Moroccan beer, it tastes like earwax.
Booth: Come on, let's go. (He pulls her up out of her chair)Bones: Wha... what? Why do I always feel like you're abducting me?
Bones: His place is much better than yours. Ten times better.
Booth: I told you, he left public service. He makes, uh, more money than I.
Booth: (sees Bones trying to open a locked door with a credit card) What are ya doin'?
Bones: I've been practicing some of the black ops stuff you taught me.
Booth: Let me show ya.
Bones: Every FBI Agent in the country is looking for my father, maybe he's trying to scare us off.
Booth: Six months without a break in the case, he ain't gonna be nervous. Let me show ya...
Bones: You know, my dad's a career criminal. Just because he says Russ is in danger, doesn't mean it's the truth.
Booth: (takes the credit card) Let me show you how it's done, okay? (he kicks the door open)
Bones: I spend half my time with a sniper-trained FBI Agent. I feel safe.
Bones: It's a long drive. You can start fresh tomorrow and I've got (she holds out her keys) cold beer in the fridge.
Booth: (enters) No, don't drink the Moroccan beer, it tastes like earwax.
Booth: Come on, let's go. (He pulls her up out of her chair)Bones: Wha... what? Why do I always feel like you're abducting me?
Bones: His place is much better than yours. Ten times better.
Booth: I told you, he left public service. He makes, uh, more money than I.
Booth: (sees Bones trying to open a locked door with a credit card) What are ya doin'?
Bones: I've been practicing some of the black ops stuff you taught me.
Booth: Let me show ya.
Bones: Every FBI Agent in the country is looking for my father, maybe he's trying to scare us off.
Booth: Six months without a break in the case, he ain't gonna be nervous. Let me show ya...
Bones: You know, my dad's a career criminal. Just because he says Russ is in danger, doesn't mean it's the truth.
Booth: (takes the credit card) Let me show you how it's done, okay? (he kicks the door open)
Season 3
Brennan: You have no idea what that place is like, Booth. Med students, under funded, under staffed.
Booth: Bones.
Brennan: His mother is dead. His father is a felon. I've been in his situation, Booth. I'm *not* turning him over until I'm satisfied he is somewhere safe, where he'll get the care he deserves!
Booth: Fine. He can stay with us... for now.
Brennan: Thank you.
Brennan: No one filled a report, Booth. No one's worried about him.
Booth: Yeah, well you are.
Booth: First the key, now jewelry! What's next? You gonna let him play with a bowling ball?
Brennan: I'm *watching* him!
Booth: Bones.
Brennan: His mother is dead. His father is a felon. I've been in his situation, Booth. I'm *not* turning him over until I'm satisfied he is somewhere safe, where he'll get the care he deserves!
Booth: Fine. He can stay with us... for now.
Brennan: Thank you.
Brennan: No one filled a report, Booth. No one's worried about him.
Booth: Yeah, well you are.
Booth: First the key, now jewelry! What's next? You gonna let him play with a bowling ball?
Brennan: I'm *watching* him!
Brennan: I need to talk to you!
Booth: Ok what the hell Bones, I'm in my house, in my bathroom, in my bathtub! How the hell did you get in here anyway?
Brennan: Well that fake rock by your front door wouldn't fool anybody. Why are you wearing a hat that dispenses beer?
Booth: Hot tub plus cold beer equals warm beer. Hat equals solution. But why are you-
Brennan: And that cigar? Very unhealthy.
Booth: Ok, what the hell do you want now Bones, 'cause I'm not really feeling too relaxed.
Brennan: You should have told me that you weren't dead.
Booth: I already explained this to you. The bureau has to vet everyone when there is a security issue. I was just following protocol!
Brennan: Protocol?!
Booth: Yes!
Brennan: We've been partners for three years Booth, and you've broken protocol before! Sometimes putting my life in danger, which makes sense because you clearly don't have any real concern for me.
Booth: (standing up) I took a bullet for you!
Brennan: Once! That only goes so far! (pause) Would you like a towel?
Booth: Fine. What is it I should've done Bones? What did you want me to do?
Brennan: Well you could have called me. Did you really think I needed to be vetted by your boss? I mean don't you trust me?
Booth: Of course I do.
Brennan: Then why wasn't I told, it must have been something that you said.
Booth: No, I don't know why you weren't told.
Brennan: But you said that I should be. Aren't you curious why I wasn't?
Booth: Yes, do you want me to find out why you weren't told?
Brennan: If it's important to you.
Booth: Fine. I will. Next time I die, I promise that I will tell you.
Brennan: I'll look forward to that.
Booth: Me too. (opens comic book)
Brennan: What are you reading?
Booth: A novel. (pause) It's a graphic novel.
Brennan: Just so you know, I find your lack of Puritan modesty very refreshing.
Booth: Ok what the hell Bones, I'm in my house, in my bathroom, in my bathtub! How the hell did you get in here anyway?
Brennan: Well that fake rock by your front door wouldn't fool anybody. Why are you wearing a hat that dispenses beer?
Booth: Hot tub plus cold beer equals warm beer. Hat equals solution. But why are you-
Brennan: And that cigar? Very unhealthy.
Booth: Ok, what the hell do you want now Bones, 'cause I'm not really feeling too relaxed.
Brennan: You should have told me that you weren't dead.
Booth: I already explained this to you. The bureau has to vet everyone when there is a security issue. I was just following protocol!
Brennan: Protocol?!
Booth: Yes!
Brennan: We've been partners for three years Booth, and you've broken protocol before! Sometimes putting my life in danger, which makes sense because you clearly don't have any real concern for me.
Booth: (standing up) I took a bullet for you!
Brennan: Once! That only goes so far! (pause) Would you like a towel?
Booth: Fine. What is it I should've done Bones? What did you want me to do?
Brennan: Well you could have called me. Did you really think I needed to be vetted by your boss? I mean don't you trust me?
Booth: Of course I do.
Brennan: Then why wasn't I told, it must have been something that you said.
Booth: No, I don't know why you weren't told.
Brennan: But you said that I should be. Aren't you curious why I wasn't?
Booth: Yes, do you want me to find out why you weren't told?
Brennan: If it's important to you.
Booth: Fine. I will. Next time I die, I promise that I will tell you.
Brennan: I'll look forward to that.
Booth: Me too. (opens comic book)
Brennan: What are you reading?
Booth: A novel. (pause) It's a graphic novel.
Brennan: Just so you know, I find your lack of Puritan modesty very refreshing.
Season 4
Sweets:Does it seem that your partnership provides a surrogate relationship, making it more difficult to form other bonds?
Brennan: A surrogate relationship wouldn't necessarily be such a bad thing because then I could avoid the sting of rejection which, however fleeting, is still uncomfortable.
Booth: Right. Okay, look, I'm sorry, you know what, if Mark and Jason don't know how lucky they are, they don't deserve you in the first place.
Brennan: No, relationships are temporary.
Booth: No, that's not true, Bones, you're wrong. Okay, there is someone for everyone, someone you're meant to spend the rest of your life with. Alright, you just have to be open enough to see it, that's all.
Booth: Right. Okay, look, I'm sorry, you know what, if Mark and Jason don't know how lucky they are, they don't deserve you in the first place.
Brennan: No, relationships are temporary.
Booth: No, that's not true, Bones, you're wrong. Okay, there is someone for everyone, someone you're meant to spend the rest of your life with. Alright, you just have to be open enough to see it, that's all.
Booth: "You're dating two guys at once, it's not right, that's why they invented dueling."
Bones: Anthropologically, 83% of societies are polygamist.
Booth: Now you sound French. Being faithful is what separates us from the chimps.
Bones: Actually, it's a gene called har1f.
Brennan: Okay, well, I think what we need to do is get a syncopated rhythm going that takes advantage of the natural frequency of the springs.
Booth: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you this spontaneous during real sex?
Brennan: Yes.
Booth: Oh, look at them....clowns.
Brennan: Well, the psychiatric term for fear of clowns is coulrophobia.
Booth: It's not fear, it's hate. Okay? Big difference.
Cam: So we're looking at the Three Stooges as the cause of death. She handles Vincent so well.
Brennan: Don't blame gravity for your lack of tidiness.
Booth: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you this spontaneous during real sex?
Brennan: Yes.
Booth: Oh, look at them....clowns.
Brennan: Well, the psychiatric term for fear of clowns is coulrophobia.
Booth: It's not fear, it's hate. Okay? Big difference.
Cam: So we're looking at the Three Stooges as the cause of death. She handles Vincent so well.
Brennan: Don't blame gravity for your lack of tidiness.
Brennan: You know that glass of wine we share every night?
Booth: Yeah.
Brennan: I have to stop that.
Booth: Oh come on, Bren. Just because you have one glass of wine every night with your husband, doesn't mean you're an alcoholic.
Brennan: That's not why.
Booth: [pause realizes what she means] No?
[Bren chuckles]
Booth: Yeah! You're pregnant? A little boy, huh?
Brennan: Or girl.
Brennan: You're awake. Your operation was a success, but you reacted poorly to the anesthia. You've been in a coma for 4 days.
Booth: It felt so real.
Brennan: It wasn't real.
Booth: Who are you?
Cam: Good morning, I'm Detective Saroyan.
Booth: Yeah, I know who you are. You're my brother's partner.
Jared Booth: She prefers the term "boss."
Cam: Official visit. See the badge?
Booth: Yeah.
Brennan: I have to stop that.
Booth: Oh come on, Bren. Just because you have one glass of wine every night with your husband, doesn't mean you're an alcoholic.
Brennan: That's not why.
Booth: [pause realizes what she means] No?
[Bren chuckles]
Booth: Yeah! You're pregnant? A little boy, huh?
Brennan: Or girl.
Brennan: You're awake. Your operation was a success, but you reacted poorly to the anesthia. You've been in a coma for 4 days.
Booth: It felt so real.
Brennan: It wasn't real.
Booth: Who are you?
Cam: Good morning, I'm Detective Saroyan.
Booth: Yeah, I know who you are. You're my brother's partner.
Jared Booth: She prefers the term "boss."
Cam: Official visit. See the badge?
Season 5
